mess mess mess messy messes.

how do i get into these messes? there's just nothing i can do.
it's almost as if i'm trying to.
how can a person not know what they want so much of the time?
how can i love so many, but barely love myself?
i keep giving so much to this little heart of mine, but she keeps taking and taking until i have nothing left to give.
i'm tired of hurting the ones who only try to love me.
why can't i just stop feeling so much all of the time?
so, i'm sorry for crying and trying to explain;
though i could never tell you just exactly why i am this way.
or how i get into these messes;
i wish i knew myself.
please forgive me,
although i ask that way too much.

new release soon!

within the next couple of months, i'm planning on putting out a new release, most likely in cd form, of music that i've written within the past few years. it will be my first release in about a million years, and it will only be my second release of all time. nice.
as of now, i only need to record three more songs, which my friend richard(his bloggue here) has so kindly offered to help me with. i have a pretty good idea of what the art is going to be like, but i still need to get some photo-copying done. also, trying to find a computer that will burn cds fast and well. wish i could get real cds pressed, but i have a gross lack of funds right now. oh well.
i will try to keep an update going on my progress of getting this thing done. hopefully i can make it happen. we'll see!

alone again.

this video was taken in maryland in the summer of 2009, on a really sweet tour down south with toby foster and ryan starinsky. it's ridiculous how many weird things happen in this video. okay, well, technically only three things, but it is still kind of odd.
i don't really play this song anymore, it bums me out.




i'm just going to post eight million things until no one wants to look at this anymore. !!!!

from the back porch.

well, since we're on the subject, this version of this song may never be released either. it was written in the summer of 2008, and was recorded in the fall of 2009.





(sorry about the pop at the beginning. my microphone was/is on the fritz.)

funny.

this song was written and recorded in fall of 2009, in columbus, ohio. this is a version of this song that is not going to be on my next release. how special (or something. i guess.)!!!





here's to romanticizing everything! it's what i'm best at.

i'm scared of losing you.

a song i wrote and recorded in columbus, oh, in the fall of 2009. it's currently on the 'shout out loud prints' tape compilation. more information here.

i don't know if it will matter.

this is a song i recorded in savannah, ga, in april of 2010. posting lyrics is always so weird because they are rhymey and silly. but whatever.


i thought about you today in this weather.
i thought about when things were better.
the shape of your back, oh, you were happy.
i really hope that you can forgive me.

if i don't see you sometime this year,
i'm sorry.
i hope you're smiling again; it kills me.
remember when we drove to ohio?
i just need your friendship, i won't let go.

(when i go see movies, i think of you.
in the dark of the theater, i wish you were there.
i'm trying to write you a letter,
but i don't know if what i say will matter.)




i suppose this is about a couple different people. it wasn't supposed to be, but that sometimes happens.

on packing and leaving a place that you love for someone else's sake.

put all the things back in their place.
dirty papers folding and unfolding once and a while;
i will put them tenderly away for now.
they will see walls someday, i hope.
but for now we must wait,
because i am going away again.


remember when i told you about the old hound dog
and the yard with the grass and the fence?
we'll be heading to a warmer place,
and i will turn away from all these warm faces.

i can't hold onto even this great anchoring place.

throwing away years of trudging,
but i cant throw away these pieces of scrap paper.
you wrote 'i love you' on the back of a picture
and you left it on my pillow.

when is the time when i will pin up all these pages?
the miles will show my age,
and i will feel restless again. i know,
but if i find it, i'm sure it will be like this;
this feeling of forgiveness for all that i've done.

i havent felt that in so long.

trying something new.

the only thing i can say about this is that i used to write a lot in a little thing called livejournal, but i feel as though the inaccessibility and dwindling number of people who use that has made it not as fun for me anymore. so, i'm giving this a shot. i guess it will not be as private, but i can deal with that.

trying to share dumb writings, pictures, bummer thoughts and other pointless shit that i sometimes just need to put down.

my name is maryn jones, and i live in columbus, oh.